I'm confused. And i'm tired from all my tears. *cries some more* I hadnt known this was going to be so hard. we talked less than 30 mins the past 2 days. And somehow, the things he says just aren't making me feel any better. I hadnt known it would be stressful, that feeling that anytime, you'll just break.

15 mins a day isnt enough. And when the last bits of the conversation went like this :

Me: you wont tell me you have to "concentrate on your studies" right? say in about 6mths?

him: Weelll, i prolly would.. in fact i should tell you that abt now

me: alrite then. if thats what you want.

him: i came here to study didnt i? of course i have to concentrate on it. That has nothing to do with us. and that is the lamest excuse anyone can give for a break up. I'd tell you straight.

me: (thinking : right, thanks ALOT for that one.) mmm k..

him: sides, i'll prolly be really busy after awhile.

me: (thinking : whats THAT supposed to mean.. we havent been talking much) *keeps quiet*

him: well... ( at this point, i hung up)

See what i mean by he's only making things worse. I felt like msging him.. or calling him back.. telling him he doesnt have to call me ever again since he thinks he's going to be too busy even for a fucking phone call.

Then i felt like telling him it was over coz he obviously wasnt going to try contribute.

Then i told myself not to be silly.. its only been 2 days and he's yet to settle down.

Then I told myself he was the biggest idiot alive and that its not likely we'll end up together after the 4 years anyway so may as well end it now and get it over and done with.

Then at the thought of that, i started to cry and havent been able to stop since.

its always the ones being left behind that are forgotten.