Thursday, February 11, 2016

Week 20 - Severe back pain, and the realization that something is moving

The past week or so has been torturous. My back pain worsened. It started off with pain as I stand/sit or lean forward. Now it hurts to move, period. Sharp pain when I walk and all, so I limp around school going 'ow, ow, ow...' In fact, it's no longer accurate to call it a back pain. Seems more like a 'deep in right butt cheek' sort of pain. And panadol does NOT help.

Melvin has been an absolute rock. He does everything in the house now and doesn't even need nagging to get things done. He does all he can to make sure I'm comfy and happy. I'm so thankful he has been playing an active role in this pregnancy. In fact, he has tried to ensure he's there for all medical appointments as well. So far, he's only missed one because there was a looming deadline for some report.

The baby?fetus? has been moving around abit lately. I'm starting to feel random light pokes from inside. It's a little freaky. Started off as a "eh, is it? Maybe not.. could be gas". Now it's definitely poking me from inside. The pokes are not visible from the outside. Melvin put his hand on my belly to see if he could feel the pokes last night, and he couldn't feel a thing. We'll give it another go when the pokes eventually become.. karate kicks...

In the meantime, we've arranged for hospital tours and antenatal classes. I've also confirmed my confinement nanny. It's going to be a busy few months!

Saturday, January 23, 2016

Week 18 - Gaining weight

I weighed myself this evening.

Maybe I shouldn't have because now I just feel like a cow.

I was already struggling with my weight before the pregnancy. At my lowest last year, I was 53kg. Then somehow I ballooned to 56kg. This was BEFORE pregnancy, and with me going to gym 2 - 3 times a week. Don't ask me how I managed to put on 3kg while going to gym.

Now I'm a whooping 60kg! Well, 59.6 to be exact, but hey, it's rounded off to 60kg. I haven't been bingeing or 'eating for two'. I have three meals, and fruit in between when I get hungry. Maybe it's the lack of exercise. I've been telling myself I should exercise, but at the end of each school day... I'm so tired that I'm in bed by 9pm... exercise is truly the furthest thing from my mind. Hopefully all the stair climbing in school is enough. To be fair I climb at least 10 floors a day...

I did find a website that calculates for you how much you are supposed to put on though. It's not for asian bodies, so I'm not sure how accurate it is. The depressing thing is if I follow the 'average' weight gain, I'll be a 70kg blimp by the end of my pregnancy. 70kg *whine* I'd look like a coooowwww.

I need to find a prenatal exercise class.

Friday, January 08, 2016

15 weeks

I had another scan this week. Dr Tan wanted to try and see the if the bean is a boy or girl. Unfortunately, it didn't work out because not only had the naughty bean had crossed its legs, and the umbilical cord was in between the crossed legs. Dr Tan made a remark like "Blocked to the max.. so modest". Very uncooperative fetus, this one.

I've been having sharp tummy pains these few weeks (and weird pulling sensations). Dr Tan said something about muscle strain because of the growing uterus. Or something like that. I wanted to ask her about bladder control but I forgot. Yes people, I leak. It's so gross. Only happens when I sneeze. Still gross though.

On the bright side, the nausea has pretty much subsided. I eat very well now and my energy is definitely back. So much so that I forget I'm pregnant at times.. Gave my colleagues a scare the other day when I started running to the next class. Well.. in my defense.. I was 5 minutes late for class...

Dr Tan has informed me that she will be away from 14 June - 24 June. She is letting me know in advance cos my due date about then and I may want to plan for another doctor instead. I'm not sure if I should take the chance.. I'm very comfortable with Dr Tan and the care leading up to birth is just as important as the birth itself. Do gynaes play a big part in the delivery room? I thought the nurses play a bigger part. I must find out more and make my decision soon. *sigh*

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

12 weeks

I had my first trimester screen and a blood test done today to check for Down Syndrome. Had to do it at NUH, though I'm not sure why my gynae couldn't handle it.

Anyway, there were specific measurements to be taken and the little one wasn't very cooperative, so the scan took longer than expected. The nurse kept jiggling the scanning device to try and make the little one move. Nope, refused. She muttered something about the fetus facing the bone and she needed it to face another direction, or something like that. I had to cough a few times to shift the fetus.

It was quite amusing, really.

*cough*  (flip)   *cough*  (flip)

Anyway, the little one is no longer a kidney bean. He/She is 5.8cm long from crown to rump. I need to find a suitable nickname for this.. thing. calling it a bean was fine when it was small. Now that it's the size of a big lime, I can't keep calling it a bean. How?

*photo edited on 22 Dec to crop out my personal details. oops.*

On most nights, I question my sanity and ask myself, "I wanted to get pregnant?! WHY?!" But that's mostly because I feel sick and miserable. I don't feel the ummm.. supposed glow. I mostly feel bloated. and sick. and I cry very much at the smallest things. I also feel fat even though I'm not showing any real tummy. And I can't fit into any of my pants.

On very bad nights, I point to Melvin and tell him it's his fault. Though it really isn't. We wanted this, right? Heck, we were trying for one for so long that even now, I can't really believe there is a little parasite in my uterus, making me sick.

I liked the thought of being pregnant. Now that I am.. hmmm. *whine*
Here's hoping for a better 2nd trimester.

10 weeks

We had abit of a scare on Sunday afternoon. When I say 'We', I really mean "I". Melvin didn't seem too concerned.. I started bleeding a little and feared the worst so I called the gynae, who determined it wasn't that bad, judging by my description of the minor brown bleed that covered my liner. She recommended for me to go down to KKH's 24hr O&G for a scan, just to give me a peace of mind.

What we saw was a happy little bean bouncing around its sac. Arms waving, little nubs of things punching around, that sort of thing. Melvin was quite horrified. LOL. I'm serious... his expression when he saw the thing, was one of horror. He was like "It looks human!" Or something like that, I don't remember what it was he said exactly, but it was along those lines of incredulity.

*face palm*

No idea what he expected to see. A fish, perhaps?

We followed up with our regular gynae visit the following day, and she gave us a much clearer scan. The one at KKH wasn't.. very.. clear. Machine sucks maybe.

It's side profile, head on the right. No worries if you can't tell. Because I couldn't, until the doc pointed the features out to me.

Next up, down syndrome scan in 2 to 3 weeks. I thought they only offered these tests to women above 35. Guess they are routine now...

9 weeks

The next scan is so faaaaaaarr away. One more week till my next scan.

In the meantime, I'm worried. I'm worried because a close friend was telling me about how her SIL lost one recently at 9 weeks. *sigh* I'm worried because I STILL have brown discharge. I've been googling like crazy but there has been no definite answer. Some ladies carry theirs to term anyway.. while some (at their next scan) realise that there was no more heartbeat. So there is nothing much I can do but continue taking my Chinese meds, taking my progesterone, and wait.

I can see my body changing. My pants are starting to be a little too tight. So much so that I've stopped wearing them completely. Loose dresses for me, thank you.
My boobs stopped hurting a week ago, which is good. I think. Or is pregnancy symptoms disappearing a bad thing? Either way, they stopped hurting. But they are.. big-ger. My MIL noticed and commented on my.. increased... chest size. She was chortling a little too much.... and I didn't know that nipples were supposed to change colour.. Let's just say, a few days ago, I looked at myself in the mirror, and cried because my boobs don't look like my boobs anymore.

I don't have morning sickness. I have evening sickness. It starts about 6pm or 7pm, then I feel nauseated and miserable for the night. As a result, I've been extremely picky about the food I have during dinner, much to my MIL's frustration.

And I've food aversion! It's sooooo weird. For some reason, I've turned vegetarian. OK, if the meat is 'disguised', like minced meat in bolognese, I'm fine, because all I can taste is tomato. But give me like stir fried chicken.. or worse, fish fillet or a CHUNK of meat, and I gag. Vegetables are good. Carbs are good. I could live on toast or noodles. Last night, all I could manage was cream of mushroom and some baguette. I miss sushi the most.

I'm very thankful that I have YX sitting to me at work. She's entering.. mm.. no.. she is in her third trimester and a very useful source of information. She understands when I complain about being burpy (just very very gassy...) and she understands how tired I feel at work.

I hope that all goes well at next week's scan, else I would have been putting on weight for nothing.

Man, I miss sushi.

7 Weeks 1 Day

The past two weeks have been tiring, to say the least.
I'm exhausted all the time and I just don't feel well. There are instances where I had to run to the loo in case I threw up. But so far so good. I have not thrown up once.

I'm supposed to bring my class out for two learning journeys this Wednesday and Friday. And I was concerned (and feeling very crappy so I was trying to find an excuse not to go). Checked with Dr Geraldine Tan and she mentioned that I should remain active so she's reluctant for me to stay home on bedrest. Oh well. I tried!

Anyway, we did a scan today and there was a heartbeat!

We could see the beating of the little heart and Dr Tan amplified the sound so we could hear it. Very...noisy.  The heartbeat was rather fast, though I read that it should beat at about 150 or 160 beats/min. I was relieved, really. Mostly because of the spotting. I wasn't sure if I'd already lost the baby and the progesterone pill was the only thing propping my lining up.  According to Dr Tan, my cervix was a little thin, and that may lead to spotting during pregnancy. The blood wasn't coming from the uterus so she wasn't worried.

Phew! Things are starting to feel real now, with the little blueberry inside measuring 0.87cm long. Melvin says it's like a little parasite. >.>

We went to Tim Ho Wan for lunch after the scan. Melvin was visibly excited. He kept looking at other babies and said something about giving birth NOW. *rolls eyes*

I must say though, I've been thoroughly spoilt the past few weeks. I would tell Melvin what I wanted to eat, then.. we go eat. It's great, really.

"I want root beer" *Melvin heads out to get root beer*
"Melon milk?" *Melvin heads out to get Melon Milk*
"I want to go out and walkwalk"  *Melvin drives me out to wherever I want*
"I want Jap food.. No wait, I want pasta. I want both!" *We head out for Jap Pasta*


Chinese Doctor

I'm still taking Chinese meds. It tastes and smells horrid, but it works. Dr Tan (oh wait.. I have 2 Dr Tans..).. Chinese Doctor is Dr Tan Siew Buoy. Anyway, she took my pulse the other day and said she thinks it could be a boy. Hmmm,

For TSB, I believe in her meds because we have seen results. 6 months on her meds, and Melvin's sperm % went up. AND we managed to conceive naturally. So I'll continue seeing her, at least until I'm way into my second trimester. Fingers crossed that nothing goes wrong with this pregnancy.

Spooky story

I went to play mahjong at Ama's on Saturday. After we were done with the mahjong, she started asking me if I had "good news". Then she proceeded to tell me she dreamt she was talking to a young man who said he was her great grandchild. Then she also dreamt, for a few nights in a row, about babies. Then she mentioned something about a little girl (sorry, my hokkien isn't very fluent so I could only catch bits and pieces). So she kept telling me to take care of the baby.

I just smiled and nodded. But OMG SO FREAKY. I didn't tell her about my pregnancy at all. And I haven't seen her in two weeks so it's not like she got to observe my behaviour etc.


Melvin and I discussed this. As in, why on earth would she dream about such things. Coincidence? The week my little blueberry gets a heartbeat, she 'dreams' about her great grandchild. Seems a little more spooky than mere coincidence.

We are a little worried about why she got those dreams. If it's true that she got a "visit", then why is there a need to meet up in her dreams? Is it because the two won't get to meet in real life? This would mean either one would pass away, ya'know? Argh. Creepy AF. I'm trying not to think about that.


For keeping my pregnancy a hush hush for now. By the time you read this (i.e by the time I publish this post), I'll be in my 2nd trimester. So.. um.. if you are still reading, you have quite a number of posts to catch up on. Heh.

5 Weeks 1 Day

The spotting continues.

It's not really brown spotting. More like beige. But it's been going on for more than a week now and I'm wondering if the spotting will end. I trolled the pregnancy forums and it seems most ladies spot for a few days, then they stop.

I haven't read any posts by anyone who has had constant spotting throughout week 4 and 5.

I try not to obsess about it, but the spotting seems to have increased today. Could it be due to my exercise yesterday? I was feeling fat and needed some exercise so I downloaded some pregnancy exercise app and did some REALLY LIGHT exercise. Like 10 squats, 10 tricep dips etc. Nothing strenuous.. though I was tired out after the 10 minute programme.

I'm not sure if I should go see a doctor and ask for two days rest, that kind of thing. Should I? Melvin isn't helping much. All he says is "Do it if you think you need to".

Makes me wish I had someone to talk to about this.

4 Week 6 days

It's important to him too

When I first got that BFP on my pregnancy test, I made an appointment with Dr Geraldine Tan. I was supposed to see her on the 16th of Oct for a blood test to confirm pregnancy. I was 12 dpo then. However, just as I left the house that morning, I received a call from her clinic saying she had an emergency c-section to attend to and my appointment would need to be cancelled.

That was when I panicked and rescheduled for a 26th Oct afternoon appointment. At the same time, I decided to go to Dr Koh at Raffles Medical to see if he's willing to just do a blood test for me. He was very efficient and emailed me my test results that very night.

I also made an appointment with Dr Koh for 23 Oct evening as a followup.

That was when I realised it was a little silly. I had an appt with Dr Koh on the 23rd, then another with Dr Tan on the 26th? Way too much.

Melvin accompanied me to Dr Koh's office on 23rd Oct and he was quite relieved to see the embryo sac. He was worried about it being ectopic, apparently. Too many horror stories online.

Anyway... Melvin was a little upset about the appointment with Dr Tan on the 26th because I had scheduled it to be in the afternoon and he was unable to take time off due to his busy schedule next week. I don't think he was upset with me. Mostly he was upset because he wouldn't be able to make it. As a result, I'm going to attempt to reschedule with Dr Tan so that Melvin can be present. Will probably try to do a week 7 or week 8 appointment. Hopefully we will get to see a heartbeat.

Please grow up healthy, my little embryo. And stop spotting already. I'm tired of sticking progesterone up my veejayjay.

4 Weeks 5 Days Pregnant

4 Weeks 5 Days

My IVF was supposed to start on 19 Oct.

I got bored a few days before that and wanted to use up my pregnancy test kits because they were going to expire soon. Then I was going to buy new pee sticks.

To my surprise, I saw a faint positive line. I showed it to Melvin, of course. He wasn't sure about it because it was a 'can see, cannot see'.

So I arranged for a blood test on 16 Oct, and it gave me a HCG level of 87.6. Pregnant! But it was so early that the doctor wanted to arrange for another test... Plus there was nothing on the u/s...

I had that 2nd appointment today.

And we did an ultrasound... tadaaahh... there was a yolk sac. Meaning an embryo was attached somewhere. We didn't do the blood test in the end, because the yolk sac was there anyway.

I'll see the doc again for another scan a few weeks down the road.

I really hope it sticks.

On another note, my Chinese doctor was extremely smug when I told her I was pregnant. She kept saying she saved me $10 000 because I didn't need to do IVF anymore.
*laugh* She's good.

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

When you want to get things done, do it yourself

Good news: we've collected the keys

Bad news: I've left the reno to Melvin. When he gets it done, I'll buy 4D.

I don't know why I'm not terribly excited about moving into a new place. Wait a minute, I think I know why after all. It's a lot of unnecessary work. I thought it could/would be done quickly.

1) Select an ID, anyone with good reviews will do
2) Pay him/her
3) Move in!

As it is, we haven't even completed step 1. Oh well... if it gets done, it gets done. Things are moving so slowly that I've lost interest in the whole project. Not that I've contributed much, you understand.

I'll keep you updated, IF there are updates. As of now, things haven't changed... since.. oh... ummm... March/April. That was when we started looking for IDs.

should I just take over from him?

Monday, August 10, 2015

Still have no found an ID

It feels as if we have been going round in circles since April. We have spoken to at least 6 interior designers (or at least, their sales rep) and one contractor. At each meet, new ideas are thrown in, some are discarded. It has been very frustrating because everytime we THINK we are firm on what we want, one of the IDs would go, "But did you think of...."

After 3 months of research/meetups (work mostly done by Melvin), I think we are FINALLY set on what needs to be done. Naturally, I have realised that my wishlist is impossibly expensive and there is no way we can afford Caeserstone Quartz tops, blum hinges, solid doors and tonnes of carpentry. So we are going to keep it simply. Minimal, really, so that the budget hits 25K to 30K.

Melvin's task is to get the IDs we've met up with to requote based on our new requirement. We had initially wanted to redo the bathroom tiles and all, but that racks the cost up at least $2000 or $3000, so we scrapped that idea. His idea of doing paneling to hide the bomb shelter door was also thrown out the window because it would have set us back by at least $1000. I had wanted a raised platform for the bed, that was thrown out too.

In the end, it's just standard kitchen cabinets, shower screen and vanity for Master bath, standard wardrobe for master bedroom, one shoe cabinet and one tv console. grand total = $25 000.

How it can cost so much for seemingly so little, I'll never know.

I don't understand. We aren't doing much but it's so expensive. It is beginning to feel as though I may well NOT renovate the house because it's not going to look like it was renovated, if you get what I mean. We can just buy IKEA furniture and chuck it in and it'll look just about the same for much less.

Don't even feel like having house warming for the place because it really is.. nothing..much..

Sunday, April 05, 2015

Starting research on renovation

We expect to collect the keys to our new place sometime this year, so we have been spending our weekends meeting up with various interior designers to get ideas.

Some of the designers we met (e.g one design werkz, vegas interior) were more forthcoming with ideas. They let us know what would work, and what wouldn't. And we learnt quite abit from those 2 IDs. The ID from one design werkz just wants us to pay for the design first, then work out a quote later on. Which is, super.. weird. I'm not doing anything unless everything is down in black and white. I don't want for pay 3k for pretty drawings of a house to find that I can't afford to do the reno itself. The ID from Vegas was very detailed in her explanation, which helped us a lot, particularly when we didn't know what we want. But she also spent time bitching about some other companies, which put me off. soo... yeah.

We also spoke to representatives from Gaia Living (the showroom was impressive, the salesguy.. nope.), and 3D innovations. Gaia Living and 3D innovations will get back to us with their quotation this week.

After speaking to 4 - 5 of them, we have a better idea of what we want in terms of design and materials. At least we have contacts and when we finally do decide on the items, we'd be able to get more accurate quotes.

It's been a busy few weeks and it'll just be busier until this whole reno thing is over and done with.

I'll post ideas here as and when I get inspired, I think. Then you guys can let me know if you think it's OK.

Right, so I'm going to spend the rest of the night figuring out whether I want granite, quartz, solid surface, kompacplus or laminate for my kitchen counter tops. >.> I hate making decisions.