I protest.. i'm not THAT organized..
| Global Personality Test Results |
| Stability (20%) low which suggests you are very worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious. Orderliness (57%) moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly organized, reliable, neat, and hard working at the expense of flexibility, efficiency, spontaneity, and fun. Extraversion (52%) medium which suggests you are moderately talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting. |
Listening to:I Hate Everything About You - 3 days grace
What should one do when one cannot deal with the realities of life? Ignore it? Pretend nothing is wrong? Face up to it and fail once more?
Maybe you can come up with a post abt that Jer :)
Caught "sky captain and the world of tomorrow" with Jeremy today. Show was.. alrite.. Isn't the kinda show i would normally catch. But it was alrite. Must apologize to Jer for a rather 'dead' me today. Ooo right, managed to buy Jen's present. Figured I may as well go present hunting today. *beam* I'll pass you the pressies next time i see you.. Dont even know if i'll see you on your Bdae itself.. May be a good idea to pass it to you in advance.
Anyway, the trip to the hospital was, as usual, a waste of time and money. Did another urine test only to find that the blood count per volume of urine has doubled ( as compared to the one taken 2 years ago ).. AND they STILL don't know what's wrong with me. I violently protested to more tests. Kept telling the doctor I felt fine.. Conversation went something like this.
Doc: so is there any pain in your lower back?
Me: no.
Doc: any burning...
me: no. no. no! I dont feel any discomfort. I dont feel any pain. There isnt any apparent kind of symptom of any disease or whatever. And i dont want to do ANY more tests. esp those which involves needles. The blood is just.. there!
Doc: *looks a lil stunned* well.. in that case, we'll give you and open date.. Just come back if any problems surface..
2 years. 2 freaking years and they still cant figure out whats wrong. Jesus.
Listening to: Why does it always rain on me - Travis
I attempted to post something 2 nights ago, only to have it lost in cyber-wilderness. It was a long post too.. *sulks*
Ooo Joel's online. It's been the longest time since I last talked to him. Probably a whole year now. I wonder if any of you actually remember him. My GP tutor from JC year 1. He came to sub for 3 months or so. And he's the coolest ever. Last I heard he had completed his education in Stanford Uni and was back to complete his bond as a national slave (NS). Maybe I'll send him a msg later.
I went off the comp in a fit of fustration.. was irritated.. and mildly miffed.. calmed down somewhat.. no prizes for guessing who ruffled my feathers. But.. on hindsight.. maybe it was a little too.. I don't know. I lose my temper much too easily I guess. I get impatient. Irritated. Paranoid. Suspicious. And a multitude of other emotions that bombard my system. It's like a parasympathetic nervous system overload due to latrotoxin where explosive amounts of acetylcholine is released. The diaphram collapses and death by asphyxiation will result. *reads what I just wrote* Something tells me i've overdone my pharmacology studying today. I really don't know why.. its like.. I dont just feel ONE emotion. Its just one whole MESS. It's either I feel so numb.. so empty.. and so zombified, or everything just floods. It's horrible. It's messy.
Have to make a trip down to NUH tomorrow afternoon.. follow-up appt. Am chugging ice water right now.. will be chugging ice water tomorrow. I dont want them to drag me back time after time coz they keep finding horrifying amounts of blood in my urine ( and they STILL cant figure out what's wrong.) Come on.. its been 2 years already. Am attempting to dilute the rbc/ml of urine somewhat.. *drinks some more*
May be headed to watch a movie with jeremy on tuesday. He'll confirm with me come monday night I think. I think I should try and sleep now.. It's 11.30.. and well.. I don't think it'll be a good idea to be late for tomorrow morning's pharmacology test.