New school term

The new school term starts next week and I'm not looking forward to it.

I'm currently a huge mess and am probably not capable of doing anything remotely close to teaching.

My colleague, LC, has been posting messages on Facebook to encourage me and I'm thankful for her words of encouragement. She is someone I've looked up to since my practicum days so it means a lot to me. I am trying to be stronger.

Melvin has been calling me during his lunchtime and while it's sweet, it has made me realised how much free time that man has. He called me while leaving the office for lunch. And the time spent walking to wherever, and waiting to order his lunch... well... it takes almost half an hour. I know I know I know he's trying to fix things, but I can't help thinking "So... this is what you do every lunch. Call and talk to her for at least half an hour."

Melvin says I'm obsessive and he commented that I don't seem very keen on fixing things. He now gets annoyed when I text him to say I don't believe that he hasn't been in contact with her.

I want to slap that moron.

It's HIS fault that there is something to fix. Of course I'm not VERY keen on fixing things. Why do I have to put in all that effort when HE is the one at fault? And it's PRECISELY that I'm not obsessive enough. That's why it took me a whole of six months to find out.

Maybe I just want to push and see how much he can take. As far as I'm concerned, if he can't take my rage, we can always get a divorce.

I'm sorry but I don't treasure this marriage as much anymore. It's broken and I don't want it.