When I fail at asking for separation

I tried bringing up the idea of separation over the weekend.

Maybe doing it over a glass of sangria was a bad idea. Lets just say... I brought it up, he gave many reasons why we shouldn't and I lost.

Thing is, I want out of this marriage, but I also want him to be okay. As in, I don't want to leave a mess behind, yaknow? And he is currently, a mess.

I'm just waiting for him to be a little stronger.

We talked quite abit over the weekend, mostly focussed on his inability to.. well.. get anything done. Many excuses from his end, of course. Ranging from low self esteem to paralysing fear of failure.

I just nod when he talks and try to look encouraging. I don't understand why he can't just suck it up and get things done. Fear of failure? All of us fear failing to some degree. To say he gets totally paralysed by it... then just flap around like a headless chicken... puh-lease. Absolute hogwash. What the hell is wrong with this excuse of a man? Overdomineering mother? Emotionally absent father? What?

Dr Leong told me I need to pass the baton to him and stop wearing the pants, so to speak. But gaaaahhh, how can I do that when he whines like a little boy and refuses to take responsibility?