Life's dilemmas. Do i want the truth.. or do i not?

What are you supposed to do when the truth hurts.. or when you cant handle it? that the truth ends up hurting not only yourself, but some other person as well. Then in an attempt to ease the pain, that person deliberately keeps things from you. Things that he deems are 'not important'.. all in the vain attempt of not wanting you to hurt unneccesarily. then when you, one day, realize that he's been giving you an edited version of his life far far away.. are you supposed to be grateful that he cares enough to want to spare you the discomfort, or are you supposed to feel hurt? that in a way, you've been served half-truths?

Then, whats HE supposed to do?.. when he tells you everything, you end up fighting coz you disagree with just about everything. Then when he doesnt tell you everything, you fight ANYWAY, accusing him of lying to you. He's right. I give him shit either way.

"How can i hurt you when my heart already belongs to you" - he just msged. I dont know dear. This is getting way too complicated. I'm too insecure. and nothing you do can change that. Everyday, i'm faced with the fear that i may lose you. Even though you think its bloody ridiculous.. sometimes i think the way i feel is bloody ridiculous too. yet.. *wrinkles nose* ah well. *sigh* all it takes is a girl to talk to you a lil too much, then i'll react. claws and all. its that simple. but a simple reaction has.. too many complicated consequences. all it takes is you to spend 30mins longer on that dinner or for you to spend slightly less time on your work than i think you should. *shrug* simple reaction. complicated consequences.

I'm a very difficult person. I agree with you.

Why does every one of your friends say you're nuts about me? Is it because you talk about me all the time? I dont know why Jackie sounded totally impressed when he talked to me the other day. He said he cant imagine how anyone can like another person so much. Is there something they can see that i failed to notice? Maybe i've just been selfish. Caring only for my pain. my feelings. and no concern for yours. at this pt, i realize i really should email this to you instead of posting it on the blog. but i really.. *sigh* i dont give a damn. i'll just post it here. You'll read it whenever.