Listening to: Heaven - Nu Flavour

Something tells me I really need to update my songs.. anyone has any good mp3s to send my way?

I managed to stay awake during physio lecture today, which was good. Then i fell asleep for protein, which is bad. ah well. I dont know.. i leaned back, closed my eyes for 2 seconds to figure out what Prof Chung was saying about 2,4-dinitrochlorobenzene.. then next thing i knew, Joanne was nudging me and the lecture was over. It would have been less embarassing if the class had 200 students instead of 25.

Then i spent 3 hours waiting for Prof Teo to be free so I can ask about some stuff. Could have been worse.. at least I had company for 2 of the 3 hours. YJ happened to msg me at about 12.30 to complain about how he couldnt concentrate on studying and that he was in central lib.. and asked where i was. So I told him i was waiting for a prof at science.. he came over and we attempted to study together. *snorts* yeah RIGHT. He managed to do a whole of TWO tutorial questions and I manage to read ONE page of my physio notes. We weren't talking much.. I spent alot of the time staring into space.. and he spent alot of time talking ( I mean, i tried to listen to what he was saying.. really. ).

And i don't mean to be ungrateful for the company. I mean he was nice enough to come down to science to keep me company ( not that i asked him to.. i msged him that i was in science and he took the bus over without letting me know first. ) I know I'm being absolutely mean.. but thru the 2 hours.. it just struck me how.. annoying he could be. how.. i dont know.. sometimes the stuff he says makes me grit my teeth and try not to beat him up. *wrinkles nose* He's alrite half the time.. really. It's just the other half that makes me want to get up, and take a plane to the north pole just so i dont have to be next to him.

The talk with Prof Teo was.. enlightening to say the least. I'm beginning to see how bleak my future truely is. I was ready to just collapse and die while i walked out of his office. I mean, Prof Teo is a VERY nice lecturer. He explains the concepts clearly.. i love his notes.. very comprehensive. at the same time, he can be SO damn direct. If it's bad, don't count on him to mince his words and make you feel better. He's that kind of lecturer. And I honestly idolize him for that.

On the way back.. while waiting for the bus, i called Melvin. And somehow.. everything just seemed a lil better. *sparkle*

On the bus, I was just thinking about stuff. about graduation. it's scary you know. I mean.. I thought the transition from JC to Uni was bad. But at least i knew approximately what I'd be doing.. it was only a matter of whether I really belonged in the Uni.. coz i've never stopped feeling out of place in the establishment.
But now?.. what am I supposed to do with my life now? Is there anything to look forward to? Kevin was saying "yay, now you can get a job, work really hard, pray for a promotion, retire and then die" Is that all there is in life? it's depressing really. It's like.. I feel like.. I'm about to set sail on this tiny raft.. and i have no idea where i'm going.. no idea how to get to the nearest land mass.. i have no map.. no one with me.. and all i see is the damn ocean. and i'm just petrified about the whole job-finding thing. it's way out of my comfort zone.. and i just.. don't want to grow up anymore.. it's too terrible a thing.