Saturday, August 14, 2004

*sniff* blocked nose.. *sniffs somemore* i hed habbing a bod dose!

Immunology lecture this morning proved to be entertaining for the 1st 10 minutes or so.. then it just got really bad. I kinda started stoning ( yes, my usual ), while yewzhen nudged me every once in awhile to say, "what's he talking abt?" and i go " i don't know.. isnt he just like.. muttering stuff down the mic? i cant hear him properly".. ppffft. anyway, i just realized that my hand has forgotten how to write.. coz i tried to take notes. and my handwriting looked screwy. i kept writing the wrong letters.. my Cs would look like Es and etc. basically.. really really weird coz somehow, it felt as though my hands should be hovering over a keyboard and not holding a pen. that is NOT good. i actually had to concentrate on very single letter written. as a result, note taking was really slow. bad bad bad.

I spent an hour or so last night on the webcam with kenneth. Was highly entertained *grin* kenneth! are you done with that CD yet? i want some of those songs.

Mmmm.. anyway. I have decided to bake a carrot cake coming tuesday. *waits for the fainted to revive* there.. all up now? kay.. good. yeah. Had some pretty nice carrot cake when i was out with eugene.. mm.. that day we had the steak? yeah. i think so. anyway, been wanting to try and bake it since. and tuesday because its the only day i dont have class..( why not tomorrow? ) coz duh, its Sunday, i wont be IN to bake. Found this really simple looking recipe.. well, it LOOKS simple. I'll let you guys know how it turns out. and whether i managed to cause an explosion in the kitchen. cleaning up is going to be SUCH a bitch. but for once, i shall bake. *grin*

Friday, August 13, 2004

Life's dilemmas. Do i want the truth.. or do i not?

What are you supposed to do when the truth hurts.. or when you cant handle it? that the truth ends up hurting not only yourself, but some other person as well. Then in an attempt to ease the pain, that person deliberately keeps things from you. Things that he deems are 'not important'.. all in the vain attempt of not wanting you to hurt unneccesarily. then when you, one day, realize that he's been giving you an edited version of his life far far away.. are you supposed to be grateful that he cares enough to want to spare you the discomfort, or are you supposed to feel hurt? that in a way, you've been served half-truths?

Then, whats HE supposed to do?.. when he tells you everything, you end up fighting coz you disagree with just about everything. Then when he doesnt tell you everything, you fight ANYWAY, accusing him of lying to you. He's right. I give him shit either way.

"How can i hurt you when my heart already belongs to you" - he just msged. I dont know dear. This is getting way too complicated. I'm too insecure. and nothing you do can change that. Everyday, i'm faced with the fear that i may lose you. Even though you think its bloody ridiculous.. sometimes i think the way i feel is bloody ridiculous too. yet.. *wrinkles nose* ah well. *sigh* all it takes is a girl to talk to you a lil too much, then i'll react. claws and all. its that simple. but a simple reaction has.. too many complicated consequences. all it takes is you to spend 30mins longer on that dinner or for you to spend slightly less time on your work than i think you should. *shrug* simple reaction. complicated consequences.

I'm a very difficult person. I agree with you.

Why does every one of your friends say you're nuts about me? Is it because you talk about me all the time? I dont know why Jackie sounded totally impressed when he talked to me the other day. He said he cant imagine how anyone can like another person so much. Is there something they can see that i failed to notice? Maybe i've just been selfish. Caring only for my pain. my feelings. and no concern for yours. at this pt, i realize i really should email this to you instead of posting it on the blog. but i really.. *sigh* i dont give a damn. i'll just post it here. You'll read it whenever.

Thursday, August 12, 2004

*sigh* Orchid hybrid pollination. Thought i had enough of orchid hybrids back in JC years. The lab for dev bio wasnt TOO bad. we cross pollinated a few orchids and have to observe the seed pod growth over the next few weeks. Pea plants were also err... planted. one row with hormone treatment, one row without. The inconvenience comes in the daily watering the plants need.. And someone needs to head back to the lab everyday to keep an eye on the cauliflower tissue culture.. *rubs temples* i hope the orchids won't die on my group. and PLEASE let the pea plant grow. We may have drowned a few seeds due to over-enthusiastic watering. *wrinkles nose*

Spent the whole afternoon wanting to throw up. I think it's the guava drink i had.. coz my stomach felt all weird after that drink.. and soon after, i started feeling queasy. remind me nvr to drink guava juice things again.

*cringe* my ears.. its a lil hard having ventrilo on.. i turn my headphones up to full vol so i can actually HEAR ppl talk.. then when msn msger makes a sound.. my ear-drums split. On 2 occasions, i disconnected from Ventrilo, forgot that i had my headphones on full volume.. and pressed 'play' on my player *wince* my ears..

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

I have a headache. AND a sorethroat.

Headache from reading the notes for today's lectures.. and a sorethroat from an overindulgence in chocolate, i'm sure. *sigh* lets see.. developmental biology was.. taxing. lots of info to memorize, the labs look very intimidating. plus the fact that they are all in 'mini-proj' format.. open-ended kind of protocol. i hate those. I was utterly lost in CZ1102 ( some computing module ).. binary makes no sense to me.. all i saw were a bunch of 1s and 0s.. which everyone assured me it's supposed to be. Plus a few other stuff. but he DID spend about 2 hours talking about 5 plus 3.. *mumble* in 1s and 0s.. and something abt err /* and */ or something. like look.. it wont make a diff even if i didnt go coz i didnt understand a damn thing.

Called jen immediately after the lecture to whine down the phone.. gonna make her tutor me..

*looks at dev bio notes* *cries*

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

I miss Lianne *pout* while its true that we hadnt been spending lots of time together, like we used to.. its the distance that gets to me i guess. the fact that i can no longer call and go 'hey.. can i come over?'.. and be there in 10 minutes. now it'll take a bloody plane ticket and quite a few hours. *pause* i have been trying not to think about it tho.. so it keeps me going. and talking to her online helps, i guess. *pause* ah well.

feel tempted to call eugene to ask him how his first day in class turned out. but mmm.. dont think i will. *grins at Lianne* now, dont YOU say anything.. i know what you're thinking. so shush. *sticks tongue out at Lianne*

Mmm for the first time ( in many nights ), Melvin and I had a friendly conversation. like WOoohoo.. not hostile. *wrinkles nose* prolly coz i'm still in a good mood about the sound card *perks up at the thought of the card* he was like,"you're in a good mood today.." well, apparently, i'm seldom in a good mood.. so yeah. you really oughta try and catch me while i'm up there *beams happily*

spent the WHOLE afternoon printing notes.. class hasnt even STARTED and i have like ten lectures worth of notes... *mumble* its only gonna get worse. I havent looked at the notes. don't wanna. will prolly get a headache, judging from what i see on the first slide..*cringe* "structual organization of shoot apical meristem" and "Arabidopsis mutants impaired in meristem activity".. SO... what the hell is a meristem? if only i can remember.. i swear i've read that word somewhere...

i'm gonna die this sem.. prepare a coffin and funeral mates.. Oooo and a helmet to keep my brain cell in.. have a feeling its gonna leak out. or burst. depending on the circumstance.

Monday, August 09, 2004

*bounces happily* I love my new sound card! *beam* thanks eugene!

Went to catch 'house of flying daggers' today. not too bad a show. too many of the 'guy tries to rip female's clothes off' scenes. but it was alrite.. Takashi ( or however you spell it ) is SO so hot. he's getting old, but he's still hot. Had a hard time with the chinese bits tho.. had to read subtitles.. the way they spoke was just... weird. anyway, show was alrite. better than 'the village' at any rate.

Mmm dinner at coffee club was great too *grin* Had chocolate fondue. yum yum. for dessert, i mean. *bounce* eugene's SUCH a sweetheart *grin* now, if only i can convince that he has to TALK to that girl if he wants her to notice him.. ( he mentioned some girl.. *giggle* ) sorry eugene hun, you didnt ask me to keep it a secret. tell me when you actually start talking to her k? *grin*

Sunday, August 08, 2004

This quote made me laugh. Coz it's exactly how i feel about the whole idea of dying.

Life is pleasant.
Death is peaceful.
It's the transition that's troublesome

-Jimi Hendrix