Friday, June 06, 2014

Getting back into shape

I stopped going to gym soon after starting the long protocol for IVF.

Sure, I could have gone. In fact, I could have gone to gym until egg retrieval. And trust me, I tried a few times.

It just didn't work out because the injection site would ACHE just after fifteen minutes of body combat. And doing bodypump while feeling icky from the jabs... well, it was just unpleasant. So I stopped going.

I went today, to try and get into the groove again.

I lasted ten minutes in the core workout class before I started feeling faint and had to head out to sit down. Then I went extremely tortoise-like slow on the treadmill (walked, really) and even then, I was exhausted after 10 - 15 minutes.

After 6 weeks of missing gym, this is what I've been reduced to.

It will definitely take awhile to get myself back into shape. Then I can be ready for the next round of IVF.

Wednesday, June 04, 2014

10dp3dt - It's over

I started spotting last night, and it increased to a very light flow this morning.

Gave CARE clinic a call and was told to head down immediately for my blood test. Nurse Xing Li then asked me to stay for the afternoon to wait for the results.. said it was in case they had to adjust my meds.

Two hours later, I was ushered into a room where they told me the test was negative. The nurse tried to tell me as gently as she could and even gave me a hug and all.

I was surprisingly not TOO upset. I mean, I was disappointed, but I wasn't like hysterical or anything. Suppose it's because I already knew in my heart since that negative pregnancy test on 8dp3dt.

I think Melvin was still hoping for the best this morning. Guess he didn't trust my gut feeling until he saw the numbers.

Oh well.. they've set another appointment with Dr Yu for us in July. Need to do a review, I think.

We'll def try IVF again. But I may postpone it till Dec to avoid taking too many MCs during school term. Don't want the Principal to come make remarks about how the pupils should come first (as opposed to your own life, eh?). I'm thinking of applying for 6 month no pay leave... focus on the IVF without having to worry about the numerous tests, appointments etc. Does this make sense? I know it doesn't make FINANCIAL sense, but I really hate to go seek permission to leave the school for this test, that appointment etc.

I've done more than 5 blood tests and 5 scans for this IVF round. All of which had to be done in the morning, so had to get time off, then rushed back to school. You include that 2 week hospitalisation leave and 2 day egg retrieval MC.. *shudder* My poor class. Thankfully most of this was after their exams.

Really don't want to repeat this during school term this year. December it is, then maybe a 6 month no pay leave.

Tuesday, June 03, 2014

9dp3dt - No courage

I didn't think I had people reading my blog.. so to the kind person who left a comment, thank you for the encouragement.

It's 9dp3dt today.

I woke up this morning and lost the courage to pee on a stick. Didn't want to see another BFN.
I think I may wait until my beta on Friday. Have demanded requested for Melvin to take leave on Friday. He was reluctant because this week is crunch week at work. I told him that if he wasn't around when the results come in, and it's bad news, I'd never forgive him.

Yes yes, melodramatic much. But come on.. which is more important, work or supporting your wife in case of potential bad news.. and since this bad news is quite probable, I would be very miffed at him for being at work.

As it is, my aunt (Read: has her own IVF clinic) had ordered strict bed rest since I told her about the embryo transfer. I didn't tell her it's impossible to have strict bed rest with a husband who can't even remember to feed the dog before going to work. Neither is it possible to have strict bed rest when I'm home alone and the husband didn't deem it necessary enough to take leave. Okkaaayy. Lots of resentment, right there.

Symptoms today: Nothing. No symptoms. Nada. I really think my boobs have deflated, though Melvin thinks otherwise. He claims he pays attention to these things >.> No cramps. Nothing. My temp is still on the high side though, at about 37.2 Degree Celsius. High temps are normally a good sign, I think. If the temps dip, I'd know my period is on the way.

My lovely in-laws are out of town. They went on a three week holiday (OH THE ENVY) starting last Friday. Vancouver, then an Alaskan cruise, then they'll spend some time in Anchorage and Sewart. Have I mentioned OH THE ENVY!!

But they so deserve it. They have worked hard their entire lives (and are still working hard) and save for their lovely holidays.

It's quiet in the house when they are not around. My poor dog, Genie, misses my MIL. Last night, Genie slept outside MIL's room and refused to come into our room.

Anyway, their absence also means an absence of meals... We have ordered tingkat for dinner. Trying out E-one catering for 2 weeks. It's convenient, I guess, since the relatively balanced meal is delivered to your doorstep.

I hope the food is good.


Monday, June 02, 2014

8dp3dt - BFN

The title says it all.

If I was pregnant, there should be a faint positive by now.

Was it the weird protocol the clinic had me on? Weird because I was on the long protocol (2 week suppress, then 2 weeks of lupron + gonal f), BUT they started me on CD2 instead of CD21.

Did I lose the embryos on day 2? Because on that day, I had ONE pink spot on my liner.

Was it the lack of bedrest? Bedrest is impossible when there isn't anyone in the house to take care of me. Other than cleaning up after the dog, I've had to make my own meals etc.

There has to be a reason, there has to be.