went ice skating with Vyn today. *laugh* had lots of fun.. i did at least.. coz i've never gone ice skating prior to today *hides*. The skates felt really.. weird and heavy. heh. i went on the ice and immediately grabbed Vyn coz i almost lost my balance and the ground looked very cold and wet. In the end, i went round the rink with right hand on the railing and Vyn holding my left. *laugh* quite miserable. I was confident enough to let go of the railings after the first half an hour.. but the minute Vyn let go, i panicked. and fell. *shiver* cold! He had to haul me up.. *laugh* then i held on to him for dear life while whining that my hands felt numb coz it was too cold. He wanted to change gloves with me coz his were still dry and warm.. bah. i told him there was no need coz chances are i'll fall again and end up with wet gloves anyway.

was fine after an hour.. i actually moved a little instead of being dragged around.. heh. Was still very wobbly though. Then this guy came from behind and smashed into me.. *growl* I kinda went sideways right into Vyn. Thank goodness Vyn held on to me else i would have fallen. I was clinging onto him like a leech for the next few minutes though. *laugh* dont think he was very amused at all.

I left that place with wet jeans, aching legs and ankles and numb hands. But it was fun. *giggle* Vyn agreed I needed more practice.

After the ice-skating, we went for the LOTR exhibition, which i thought was a bloody waste of 20 bucks. Was alrite.. not too bad. The only interesting bit was the section on how special effects were done. Was shivering throughout coz my jeans and jacket were wet. *mutter*

The day went by really fast for some reason.

Time to go play games.. see ya.

Went to watch "Troy" today. *wrinkles nose* Brad Pitt has a nice perky looking butt. *collapses into peals of laughter* and Orlando Bloom's character is SUCH a dandy. Felt like reaching in to slap some sense into that peacock a few times. Honestly, that show was boring as hell. Lots of nice tanned buffed guys but that's about it. The fight scenes were unimpressive. Like slash, collapse, slash another one, that person falls to the floor. slash, die. slash, die. you get the picture. and there I was thinking," In other words, their plate armor is useless aint it? i mean, if you see your men falling with one slash of the knife, you'd figure its time you redesigned your armor."

oh, and every important bit of the story is squeezed in the last 10 mins of the 160min show. The Trojan horse didnt appear until the last 10 minutes.. Archilles managed to rescue the girl he loved, the girl he loved managed to kill the evil king, Paris ( orlando bloom) irritated me more coz he was an idiot right to the end - he killed archilles. I mean..after running around the whole city looking for her, Archilles found her at this place with the evil king. She plunges a knife into the evil king's neck, the evil dude dies.. Archilles kills the guards who were about to kill HER. Then while he's trying to carry the girl coz she was on the ground.. that Paris dude shoots arrows at him. i mean.. WTF? First Paris runs away from battle like a pansy. then he shoots the guy who rescued his cousin. I walked out of the cinema muttering to myself that Orlando Bloom's character should have died. that pansy.

Had to spend HALF an hour in Plaza Singapura's carpark after the show. WHY? coz my DEAR boyfriend forgot where he parked the CAR! we had to -search- the carpark from top to bottom. And i didnt know coz I went to PS by myself.. and why? coz he didnt come pick me up! instead he drove jeremy.. *pinches melvin's nose playfully* nah.. no biggie really. *giggle* considering melvin made up for the whole thing.. *giggle* lets leave it at that.. *sparkle*

*blinks blearily* i'm sleepy. goodness knows why.. Was in bed till 10am and had to force myself to get out of bed in case I fall back asleep and have weird nightmares. Currently more tired than usual.. *yawn* maybe i should head back to bed.

I swear I had something to blog about.. slipped my mind though. oh yeah.. I just recieved a call from Genecet asking me to head down for an interview on wednesday morning. And I suddenly find myself feeling very nervous. I mean come on, i've only been to 2 interviews so far and I didnt get through for both. And somehow, its just highly important that I get this job. Its not the money, its the damn experience I need. Any ideas on how to pass a goddamn interview?

Just got back from Dubs *sparkle* I caught a glimpse of adam (Lianne's latest.. uh.. obsession *wink*) .. heh. Was wondering what he looked like. It was dark and he was standing a lil far off so I didnt really catch what he looked like but well.. erm, I noted his hair. *wrinkles nose* Found out from jenny that alph was there so i called him to hug and say hi :)

Actually i wanted to head to dubs coz i wanted to see Li and Jen.. and i wanted a baileys. AND i wanted fries. heh. was all lovely. I had all i wanted AND i had an apricot brandy, which was very smooth. Melvin couldnt drink *MUAhahahaha*....*sparkle* so nice of his dad to let him have the car today. i DO love being driven around so. He had a mocktail.. a PINK mocktail called Pussy foot ( jenny's recommendation) - it looked like strawberry milk. The poor guy was whining coz he wanted a beer.. lol.

The drive wasnt too bad.. finding a carpark space was a bitch. He didnt get into any accidents.. the car only died twice in the middle of the damn road. heh. not too bad. He was asking what time Li and Jen knocked off coz if they knocked off early he'll drive us all back.. *laugh* pity. And no. we didnt make out in some dark carpark. The thought did cross his mind but.. uh.. no thank you.

I'm thinking maybe i shouldnt have had that apricot brandy. like you guys should know how bad my alcohol tolerance is. even now the words from the comp are a .. lil.. erm.. kinda jumping out at me.

alritey.. that pretty much sums up my day.. time for me to go play my elf.

*sniff* game servers will be down till 11pm. which explains why i'm here blogging. heh.

The rings Melvin and I bought didn't turn out too bad.. my name looks sooooo pretty on the ring *happy bounce* I did mention to melvin that its a very good way to identify dead bodies.. *cringe* it's for our names on it and all.

Went to catch Van Helsing yesterday.. the show wasn't too bad, much better than hellboy. There was a true babe in the movie... even I was drooling. it was like, " Her figure! I want her figure! she looks so good in tight leather.. Ooo *drool*". The guy who acted as her brother was hot *grin* very hot. Dont ask me for names coz i really don't know.. but yeah. Catch the show for the babe if not for anything else ( I do realize that the sentence sounds like what a typical guy would say, but.. you get my point.)

Was at holland V with jenny and lianne just now. Had fries and ice-cream and salads ;) was lovely. Erm. went for baileys after.. that was alrite too. *sigh* getting poorer by the day. I'm seriously wondering if i should even watch 50 first dates with them on monday. SERIOUSLY very very poor now. i'll sit on it and let you girls know :)

Its been quite awhile since my last post.. at least, it sure feels like it.

I havent been going anywhere really. most of the time staying in to play games, or meeting Jeremy and Melvin at parklane to.. uh .. play games. heh. *grin*

maybe, just an aoology to all my friends out there. I know I havent been free for all of you. But I need the memories. I need to accumulate those memories to sustain me for the next few years. I miss you jen. And Lianne. And eugene. And vynnie. Excuse me for isolating myself for the next few weeks. Sometimes, I dont think I can even survive past mid-june. It's been putting a strain on me and for most, i dont even feel like i am myself. I havent been sleeping well. Even though I get off the games by 1am coz i'm really tired, I lie in bed till 3.. or 4.. before i drift off to a sleepless slumber. Then i wake up at 8am, and fail to sleep again even tho i try.

It's late. I should head out already. We're going shopping for rings today. hopefully that will be enough to sustain us.

For once, i didnt mind being caught in the rain.

*sparkle* It's hard to grumble when someone passes you a sweater and vainly attempts to cover your head with a comic book while walking in a slight drizzle to a far away bus-stop. ( it's a 10min walk with NO shelter mind you.) It's hard to mind the sudden downpour upon reaching the traffic junction, when all he does is to hold you with his free arm and try to keep you warm.

I think it's prolly coz I've nvr felt warmer. or safer. walking in the rain. At least I don't concentrate on the "#&@%&#! I'm Cold and Miserable coz of this (@*&#&$ rain." But yes, for once, I didn't mind being caught in the rain.

Watch

As my world collapses around me.

Watch

As the stars in my sky die one by one.

Watch

it's hard to carry on. esp when the guy you love is leaving for sydney in 6 weeks. And one of your oldest, bestest friends leaves in 2 months.

Watch

as i lose the 2 most impt ppl in my life.

If in the morning when you wake,
If the sun does not appear,
I will be here.
If in the dark we lose sight of love,
Hold my hand and have no fear,
I will be here.

I will be here,
When you feel like being quiet,
When you need to speak your mind I will listen.
Through the winning, losing, and trying we'll be together,
And I will be here.
If in the morning when you wake,
If the future is unclear,
I will be here.
As sure as seasons were made for change,
Our lifetimes were made for years,
I will be here. - I Will Be Here by Steven Curtis Chapman


Its been a boring day. can't wait for tomorrow.

exams are finally OVER!!!!

now.. i have to type very slowly coz i just got back from doing my nails *sparkle* Jen and I went for a french manicure and my nails look VERY nice *happy* i only hope they last long enough.. as in.. not scratch or anything.. till like maybe 2 weeks later.. after i'm done showing them off to everyone *bounce* Many thanks to Jenny for the subsidy, *beam* my nails look pretty *gush* And yes alph. Jen said you said it was porn star manicure. *snort* i think its nice though. I really hope it'll last. I've been looking at my nails for the past hour or so. they're so nice now *gush* and i hope they survive the suana coz i'm going to a steambath thingy on sunday morning.. if they spoil during the steambath or something, i'm SO gonna cry.

May be meeting vynnie on monday.. not sure as yet. *pause* i gotta get myself a DIY french manicure kit soon. even though i so suck at applying nail polish.. i gotta try at least.. its SO nice *gush* *pause* right, back to Monday. I may be going to catch a movie with vyn. would be nice.. been some time since i saw him. And i havent seen eugene in AGES. so i gotta arrange something with him too.. and Lianne! we GOTTA arrange something. OH wait. oh bother. i have to head down to science park to uh... look-see look-see coz i'm hoping to find an internship this hols. bother. maybe i'll drag vynnie with me. bah. we'll see.

*beam* i GOTTA show vynnie my nails. maybe i can convince him to get HIS buffed *grin* and Melvin too.. LOL. then again, I have to convince melvin to try waxing *snicker* one thing at a time. Sooner or later i'm gonna convince all my guy friends to go for manicures and spa treatments and stuff like that. *laugh* that WOULD be fantastic. *beam* *prod melvin* how about a facial dear? *hint*

I scored 92¼% on the classic 400 Point Purity Test!

Take the test here!

nicked from Lianne:

FIRSTS
First girl best friend: Calista. In Pri one. she was my best friend but i couldnt stand her. *wrinkles nose* complicated really. Doubt she even remembers me now.
First guy best friend: Eric, from secondary school. He was my best "big brother".
First date: *ponders* Uhhh.. yongjia? wait a sec.. maybe not.. BAH i can't remember.
First break-up: Yongjia. Dumped him in a fit of anger. long story. Let me retain some dignity and not go there.
First self purchased album: Backstreet cd i believe. was it a self titled album?.. i think so.
First funeral: One of my classmate's Father's funeral. I can't remember his name now.. but we were in secondary school. Oooo last time i saw him he was one of those ticket collecters at PS cinema.
First pets: I had.. a pet grasshopper! and turtle things.. terrapins, i think. AND a cat called jumpy who had to go *Cry* ooo and lots and lots of chicks which never did made it big enough to be eaten. thank god.
First piercing/tattoo: Ears. No tattoo. don't like pain much thanks.
First enemy: *ponders* Ting Ting. In primary six. i downright hated her. she's alrite now.
First play/musical/performance: Does Cinderella in primary school count? if it doesn't there always is the multitude of performances in secondary and JC....

CURRENT

Current girl best friend: *shrug*
Current guy best friend: Vyn and Eugene tied.
Current marital status: Attached. Not married. Not engaged. err.. semi-available? *giggle*
Current song playing: Unforgiven 2 - Metallica. Don't ask.
Current thoughts: *sigh* exams.. and little stuff here and there. Why do i always have problems letting go of things.. etc.. think i'm turning into my mom.. etc.
Current taste: Orange juice.
Current emotions: Hurt, confused, contradictory ( why? i dont want to need people. yet i do.), tired, hollow, defeated.
Current status online: i believe Justin just msged me on icq *frown* should i even reply?
Current fav. person: Melvin
Current wonder: Why am i still alive?..
Current instrument played: Eeek... i miss my piano... *cry*
Current need: Someone to be here. always.

LAST

Last cigarette: it makes me inordinately proud to be able to say never. haha.
Last kiss: this afternoon
Last good cry: Last night.
Last movie seen: Hellboy. the movie was really lame. but really sweet.
Last beverage drank: hot chocolate *grin*
Last food consumed: Some.. dessert. Ching erm.. tang? Ching tang? *mumbles*
Last crush: Oh god. erm. Vynnie? *ducks*
Last phone call: Melvin. Called me just to whisper sweet nothings. *gush* *cough* excuse me.

Last tv show watched: Oh dear.. when WAS the last time.. oh WAIT... i watched tv this afternoon! channel news asia i believe. while waiting for Melvin's turn for his x-ray *mutter*
Last time showered: this morning.
Last shoes worn: my ah-lian heels *prod lianne*
Last cd played: You know.. now that you mention it.. i left all my cds at mom's place *wails*
Last item bought: *blink* erm. Dinner? oh wait. Melvin paid for that. Erm. a cookie i believe.
Last annoyance: Alphonsus' nick on msn. it irritated me somehow. got him to change it tho *grin*
Last disappointment: About.. half an hour ago. I dont want to talk about it. Life just dishes shit out to me.
Last ice cream eaten: ABout 5 minutes ago.. cadbury chocolate chip icecream. *happy grin*
Last time wanting to die: this morning?
Last shirt worn: some black top.
Last website visited: Lianne's.

I thought the wave of depression would wash off this morning. It didn't. Excuse my absence from here until it does.

Every once in awhile.. the past comes and haunts me. It comes and leeches my strength away.. makes me wonder why i'm even alive. Then I wonder if things would have worked out differently if i had chosen another path. Death is an empty thing. At times, i'm glad that my many attempts to end my insignificant life have failed, for I would be unable to experience the many joys bestowed upon me. Yet, every once in awhile, it certainly feels as though Death didn't claim me so as to mock me, and let me continue my existence so i may suffer.

The choices I have made. The things I used to do. I wish I could undo, at least some of them.

All day I keep from falling apart
But at night when the sky gets dark

Tears from the moon
Fall down like rain
I reach for you
I reach in vain

Stop, Stop haunting me
It should be easy

Tears from the moon
Fall down like rain
but tears from the moon
can't wash away the pain

you are darkslateblue #483D8B

Your dominant hue is blue, making you a good friend who people love and trust. You're good in social situations and want to fit in. Just be careful not to compromise who you are to make them happy. Your saturation level is medium - You're not the most decisive go-getter, but you can get a job done when it's required of you. You probably don't think the world can change for you and don't want to spend too much effort trying to force it. Your outlook on life can be bright or dark, depending on the situation. You are flexible and see things objectively.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

Heh. blue. how nice :)

Yesterday's chemistry paper was open book. I forgot to bring in the periodic table. Didn't knoe what the m.w of lithium was. I did 2.5 questions out of 4.

Today's Molecular Biology was 40 mcq questions. I could do 7. I didn't study Prof Low's notes ( can't STAND that guy) and concentrated on Prof Philippa's and Prof Chua's. Most of the questions came from Prof Low's section. The 7 I could answer came from Prof Philippa's. Prof Chua's questions were so confusing.. didnt know what she wanted.

*familiar "death" song plays in background*

Whats the worst time EVER to have a power trip? I can tell you when.

I was in the shower. Got all lathered up when the lights flickered and went out. And suddenly I was all soaped up, stark naked and in total darkness. Told myself not the freak out.. flashes from all the horror shows i've watched didnt help i can tell you... I took a deep breath, shut my eyes and stepped under the running water to wash the soap off.. of COURSE... since it was a POWER TRIP.. the damn water turned cold in just about 2 seconds. That was when i screamed.

Papers start on tuesday. i'm barely halfdone for Molecular bio.. and just about 1/2 done for Psych. I havent even read through my chemistry. what went wrong this sem? Plus I just may fail my genetics coz of my screw up for the project. I actually finished that project early. But i handed it in late. Can u imagine that? *cry* I thought the lab closed at 6pm.. i got there at 5.30 to find it closed.. so i slid it under the doors and email my prof.. he replied that the lab report should have been handed up before 12noon.. *cry* Plus, if my report gets lost ( coz i just slid it underneath the door....).. yeah.. i'm gonna fail coz the proj is 30% of final. *sigh* I dont know if i should laugh or cry. I mean, it does seem a little funny in a weird way.. *sigh* just shoot me..

MAn. i'm SOoooo tired. Got the the library at 10am.. stayed there till 4.30pm.. finished one miserable chapter of psych and about 1/6 of molecular biology. i should finish 1/3 of molecular biology tomorrow.. plus one more chap of pysch. *cringe* that would leave me... 9 more chapters of pysch.. or 10. about there. I actually studied Prof Philippa's section of molecular bio so i would understand her tutorials. so i think that one would be a breeze ( after all, i DID pay attn during her lectures.. mostly anyway).. no matter how i look at it, i'm still screwed. i know u guys have no idea what i'm talking about.. but i'm trying to keep track here.. so bear with me.

and i have to find time to head down to science to hand in my project... *frown* probably on thursday? maybe Wednesday? oh wait. that's tomorrow. AAACK! today is TUESDAY?! already?! i have 6 days more? Nooooooooo...... *pulls hair* i can't finish it all in 6 days! AAACK!!!

i knoe this is gonna look really weird.. but i would like to announce that *drum roll*

I've Finished My Lsm2202 project Report! Woooohooooo!!